If you are a parent or ever considered being one then you have probably heard about how you lose sleep and your life is not your own, you are now on somebody else's schedule. And to some that is a stopping point and if it is then thank God you haven't had children because let me tell you that is nothing. Lack of sleep, bring it on. Can't run an errand without it taking double the time, whatever. Can't have a night alone pretty much ever, who cares. What people don't tell you, and if they did we might all reconsider our need for a sweet smelling, cute, cuddly baby that fills a hole in our hearts, is that kids are easy it's when they get older that is the truly hard part.
Babies are easy, all consuming but easy in comparison to their older counterparts. What nobody tells you is that once they have the capacity to understand the world around them you are on a constant battle to teach them right from wrong. Random opportunities present themselves for you to teach them what is right, wrong, okay. If you miss an opportunity you wonder if you will regret it later. You are on constant watch if they are bullies, do they verbally abuse others, do they look down on anybody for being different. Are they going to respect the opposite sex, will they be drug addicts or alcoholics, how can you set them in the right direction without over doing it, without making is so wrong that they choose to rebel. You are responsible for this person and not only that but you love this person more then you have ever loved any living thing ever. Anything that happens to them happens to you. Nobody tells you that when they experience disappointment and heartache you will feel it with every inch of your heart and it will kill you to have to let them work through it. You will also never feel more betrayed when they decide to be someone you didn't raise them to be. They are going to grow up and they are going to hide in their room to play video games because sitting with you isn't so cool anymore. Needing your attention and hugs to fulfill their day is no longer needed. But this is actually the time when you need to butt in the most. People don't tell you that even if you are the most loving, caring, compassionate parent, if you are open and honest and think that you have done all you can right that you will still be slapped in the face with your child's lack of knowledge of the world, with the stupid decisions they will make. You conveniently forget that you once thought you were invincible and that nothing could ever "happen to you" and your child will feel the same way and will make awful choices based on this "knowledge". You will have to be the bad guy, you will have to put aside every feeling you have about how things make YOU feel and find a way to help your child instead of tearing them a new one, which you will want to do, trust me. You will have to, from that point on, worry everyday because you have been confronted with the fact that your child is old enough to make stupid ass decisions. You will wonder what other stupid things they will do. You will have to find a way to balance their need for independence and privacy with your need and responsibility to keep them alive and safe. If you can't handle all of these things, if you can't handle that for the rest of your life you will always worry about this person and pray that they succeed, that they are happy, that they are safe, then don't have kids.
